U.C.L. Academicals Football Club

(The Accies)

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2007-08 Results - October

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Saturday 27th October

Accies 1sts 1 (og) Old Parmiterians 3.

Old Aloysians 5 Accies 2nds 1 (Paul Bernard).

Accies 3rds 2 (Mike Short, Max Lovell) Kew Association 3.

Albanian 2 Accies 4ths 0.

Accies 5ths 1 (Jat Chohan) Mill Hill County Old Boys 5.

Enfield Old Grammarians 6 Accies 6ths 4 (Jason Ingel, Serge Sollo, Tom Barlow, Jean-Alexandre Imerzoukene.

1sts Match Report from the Non League Paper

UCL Academicals hosted Old Parmiterians looking for three points to continue their recent good run. The first half was even, with both sides creating half chances, Jay Jacques missing twice for the visitors, and Greg Blake going close with as he met Rick Hirst’s free kick for Academicals, blazing over from six yards out. Immediately after half time Parmiterians took the lead as a corner from Scott Lewis was only half cleared and as the ball bounced around on the edge of the box, Matthew Martin fired it goalwards, but Barry Stevens pounced to deflect the ball into the bottom corner to open the scoring. Accies quickly equalised through a freak own goal, Blake setting up Ian Roberts whose shot was saved, only to see the ball rebound off a defender into the net, Parmiterians hit back quickly as Martin Fook headed home powerfully at the back post to regain the lead. With twenty minutes to go Parmiterians made the points safe as Jacques capitalised on another half clearance to volley home from the edge of the box to seal a deserved 3-1 victory.

2nds Match Report from the Non League Paper

In Senior 3 North, Old Aloysians Reserves ran out comfortable 5-1 winners against UCL Academicals Reserves. The first half was tight, with Aloysians opening the scoring as John Bates broke the offside trap and ran through onto Marlow Baldry’s long ball to lob Danny McConnell from thirty yards. The key moment came early in the second half as Gerald Hooley swung in a cross from a wide free kick, which eluded everyone to drop in at the back post. Accies heads dropped, and Aloysians quickly added a third as John McKinnon pounced on a sliced defensive clearance to tuck home. Accies pulled a goal back through a Paul Bernard penalty, after Lloyd Vanson had turned Akin Fayoyin inside out and been brought down, but the Aloysians defence looked solid throughout, and Accies rarely threatened keeper Lee Halligan. Aloysians soon sealed the result, as Terry O’Neill added a brace for a convincing 5-1 result.

5ths Match Report from Bob Woad

The fixture against Mill Hill Country Old Boys was accompanied by the return of Chris Carter from his four week start-of-season absence. Much of this was due to his going on holiday to Morocco, an action clearly showing an inability to grasp the simple equations:

‘April to September = No Play Football = Go Holiday’ and ‘September to April = Play Football = No Go Holiday’. 

Much of his time was apparently spent riding his girlfriend in the Atlas mountains so his physical condition on his return was largely unknown. His reappearance was however overshadowed by the return of Dave ‘Jonah’ Swaby, overseer of the 5ths first two defeats of the season. Was it just imagination or did a crow land on the changing room roof and crawk loudly as he entered ?

The 5ths had played Mill Hill County OB pre-season and had drawn 1-1 against a team who were largely awful, but the outfit which took to the pitch on Saturday bore no resemblance to that sorry team of just a few weeks earlier unless several of them had put on three feet in height in the intervening period. The 5ths lost 5-1 but the scale of the defeat in no way represented the manner of the game. Rather it came as a salutary reminder of how a couple of fast, skilful players can determine the outcome so dramatically.

For much of the first half the 5ths played excellent football, passing and moving harrying and chasing and were more than a match for Mill Hill. However, despite quality play from the whole Accies team from defence to attack, the caving of clear cut openings was again the downfall. Half chances came and went, medium to long range efforts were close but the 5ths couldn’t find the back of the net. After 20 minutes Mill Hill opened the scoring. A ball through the 5ths defence was raced onto by the speedy Mill Hill centre forward who easily outpaced the defenders before calmly slotted the ball past the advancing Bobby Butlin. The 5ths responded with more good but unrewarded play until history repeated itself and they were 2-0 down. Two attacks, two goals. It summed it up.

At half time all did not seem lost but although the 5ths continued in the same vein in the second period they were again cut through on the break and were 3-0 down. Faced with a third consecutive defeat, joint captain Dave Swaby was becoming more and more agitated, and at one point appeared to brandish a twig and shout ‘Expelliamus’ at the Mill Hill players. Whether this had any actual effect is unknown but the 5ths did pull one back after Bob Woad directed a James Liang cross towards the corner of the net and Jat Chohan tapped home the keepers parry. It was a false dawn as Mill Hill again scored on the break. The 5ths were beginning to tire and this was epitomised when the Mill Hill right back went on a solo run through the entire Accies midfield and defence to score number five. It could have been six but Bobby Butlin kept out a poorly taken Mill Hill penalty

Saturday 20th October

HAC 2 Accies 1sts 2 (Innis Pirrie, Dave Coates).

Accies 2nds 3 (Kieron Jennings 2, Lysander Bryant) Old Isleworthians 3.

Queen Mary College Old Boys 3 Accies 3rds 2 (Scott Atkinson, Dan Bennett).

Bank of England 1 Accies 4ths 5 (Phil Wash 3, Matt Redman, Andy Burt).

Old Ignatians 2 Accies 5ths 5 (James Liang 2, Sameer Patel, Bob Woad, Joe Baggaley).

Accies 6ths walkover vs Old Minchendenians.

1sts Report from the Non League Paper

In the Premier Division, UCL Academicals travelled to HAC and shared the points in a tightly fought draw. The first half was scoreless, but HAC opened the scoring on the hour mark after dominating the early exchanges of the half, as a good move from defence released Simon Ball on the right, and his cross to the back post was headed home by Steve Onyems. The game turned as Ian Roberts came on as a substitute, and Accies quickly equalised as a pass from Roberts found Gareth Jones, whose cross fell to Innis Pirrie who shimmied from his left to his right and fired home from six yards. Accies soon added a second as a defensive mistake allowed to Eamon Rabie cross for debutant Dave Coates to head home with his first touch for the club. HAC piled on the pressure in the final quarter of an hour, and with ten minutes to go, Dan Chantler was adjudged to have pulled back Nick Weinberg in the penalty box, and once the protests had died down, Colin Gardner converted for a 2-2 draw and a deserved share of the points leaving Accies keeper Dawson kicking the goalpost in frustration.

5ths Report from Bob Woad

Bobby Butlin maintained his 100% winning stewardship of the 5ths with a 5-2 victory over Old Ignatians in the LOB Cup. Captain Dave Swaby was again absent, the excuse this time was attendance at his grandmothers 90 th birthday. So while the earnest Swaby sipped tea, ate cake and did all in his power to ensure inclusion in the will it was left to the seasoned keeper to lead the 5ths from the back.

Ignatians were two divisions below the 5ths and had drawn three of their four games, one of them 8-8, so it was clear that they could score and concede with equal veracity. The 5ths were taking nothing for granted but after the first twenty minutes could be forgiven for thinking that they were playing against a team for whom football was as foreign as caviar and champagne at the post match hospitality. Ignatians were very poor but although the 5ths enjoyed most of the possession and strung together some good passing moves they carved few openings in the final third of the field. Instead the Accies opening goal came from classic route one play. Sameer Patel, playing this game in central midfield, received the ball and launched it straight over the Ignatians defence for James Liang to race onto it and lob the advancing keeper.

The 5ths pressed for a second goal but apart from a fine cross from the right by Andy Williams which James Liang couldn't convert from a tight angle, and some good work down the left from winger Joe Baggaley, failed to create any more clear openings.

Instead Ignatians started to come more into the game and began to press the 5ths back. However, their attacks were effectively dealt with by the Accies defence with the unusual centre-back partnership of Jat Chohan and Alan Aaronson putting on a fine display and stifling any Ignatians threat.

In the Accies goal Bobby Butlin didn't have a shot to save until he was suddenly pulling the ball from the back of the net. An opposition corner tempted the 5ths keeper from his line but he failed to make contact with the ball and the Ignatians No. 8 rose to head into an empty goal. At 1-1 the game looked disturbingly in the balance and Butlin did well to backpedal and tip over a rasping 30 yard free kick.

At half time Dave Sigerson and Waz Shiraz replaced Ales Heaton and Jaimin Allen and the 5ths started the second period in fine attacking style. Their pressure finally brought its rewards when Joe Baggaley rose to meet a well placed Andy Williams corner. His initial header was parried by the Ignatians keeper but the irrepressible Baggaley was not to be denied and he rose like a salmon to head the rebound home.

The 5ths were playing better in the second period with the midfield providing more support to the front two as opposed to the first half when the attack and midfield were too often disconnected.

James Liang added another and at 3-1 the game looked safe. However a lapse of concentration allowed the Ignatians No. 8 to head his second goal of the day unmarked at the far post following a throw in.

The 5ths fought back and began stringing some good passing moves from the back, through midfield and down both wings with Joe Baggaley being particularly effective on the left. Two more goals followed with Bob Woad prodding home from close range and then Sameer Patel capping a fine display of attacking midfield play when he powered into the Ignatians box to bury goal number five. In the dying moments Liang was put through one-on-one for his hat- trick but failed to repeat his first half lob and his attempt was saved by the Ignatians keeper.

Sunday 14th October

Old Minchendenians Vets 5 Accies Vets 2.

Saturday 13th October

Enfield Old Grammarians 1 Accies 1sts 2 (Neil Gillard, Gareth Jones).

Accies 2nds 1 (Lysander Bryant) William Fitt Old Boys 5.

Old Camdenians 4 Accies 3rds 4 (Stu Bannister, Scott Atkinson, Mike Short, Paul Bernard).

Old Tollingtonians 1 Accies 4ths 2 (Tom Lovell, Phil Harden).

Accies 5ths 5 (Andy Williams 3, Bob Woad 2) Wood Green Old Boys 1.

Accies 6ths 3 (Tom Barlow, Obi Nwuso, Jean-Alexandre Imerzoukene) Old Manorians 4.

1sts Report from the Non League Paper

At the top of the table, UCL Academicals travelled to Enfield Old Grammarians and continued their bright start to the season. Accies started very brightly and created two gilt edged chances in the first half hour, spurned by Greg Blake and Lloyd Vanson. Enfield fought back, but half time was reached with no score. Accies quickly asserted themselves in the second half, Rick Hirst’s corner being powered home unchallenged by Neil Gillard, and they soon extended their lead as Blake set free Gareth Jones to calmly finish. Enfield finally hit their straps, and pulled back the deficit on seventy minutes as a corner wasn’t cleared properly and blasted home by Bruce Conway. In the last few minutes Enfield pressed for the equaliser, but Mark Dawson made a superb save in the final minutes to preserve the 2-1 win for Accies.

5ths Match Report from Bob Woad

The 5ths welcomed back legendary Accies keeper Bobby Butlin for their first home game of the season at an overcast but warm Shenley. By contrast captain Dave Swaby was absent having come down with a mystery illness midweek. Rumours that he would be present to lend support were boosted by reports of a wizened figure in a bath chair approaching the gates of Shenley, but this turned out to be a false alarm, and the bed-bound Swaby did not appear.

A number of other late dropouts resulted in an unfamiliar 5ths line-up, positionally at least. However, at the end of the day this proved not to matter. The 5ths recorded their first win of the season with a 5-1 victory over Wood Green Old Boys, but the margin of this result hid a display of finishing which can only be described as shocking in its ineptitude. If the score had been 15-1 it would not have flattered the Accies given the number of clear cut chances that were squandered with a profligacy that beggared belief. 

Bob Woad was the worst offender, and after the game issued a formal apology for only scoring two goals when it should have been closer to seven. Jaimin Allen, Mark Yeo and James Laing all missed excellent chances; shots flying high, wide, off the post or straight at the Wood Green keeper, when scoring would have been easier. The only player to come away with credit was man-of-the-match midfielder Andy ‘Marksman’ Williams whose hat trick was completed by a solo run past five Wood Green defenders before calmly slotting the ball past the keeper.

It was not all one way traffic. Although the 5ths were in control for large parts of the game the opening 20 minutes saw a Wood Green effort headed off the line by Alan Aaronson and Bobby Butlin tip another onto the woodwork.

The 5ths first goal came from a corner on the right. Andy ‘Pin Point’ Williams provided an inch perfect delivery which Bob Woad rose to head home at the back post partially making up for the two on-on-ones with the Wood Green keeper he had earlier failed to convert. The second goal came from ‘Sure Shot’ Williams himself and was a glorious 25 yard strike that took a slight deflection off a Wood Green head before cleanly beating the keeper. 

At this point Wee Willy Winky paid a visit to the 5ths defence who yawned, put on their night caps and went into slumber mode allowing Wood Green to pull one back and the game started to swing back to the visitors to some degree. However the 5ths held firm and reached half time 2-1 ahead. 

The second half saw the 5ths lead stretched to two goals by ‘Poacher’ Williams second clinical finish of the day, before Bobby Butlin pulled off a stunning double save, first palming away a well placed free kick which was heading for the top corner, and then from the rebound keeping out a close range effort to deny Wood Green a second goal.

The threat of a Wood Green comeback clearly put ‘Wild Man’ Williams in mind to finish the job once and for all. So it was that following his customary scuffle with a selected opponent and admonishment by the referee he did so, with a wildly meandering run that started from thirty yards out and covered almost a mile of terrain before ending with a deft shot past a prostrate keeper. In the last few minutes Bob Woad added a modicum of respectability to the score when he cut inside the left back to fire a low shot into the Wood Green net. At the final whistle the 5ths were left rueing the goal feast that might have been, but also reflecting on a solid defensive display on which to build over the coming weeks.

6ths Match Report from Danny McConnell

With the skipper and vice skipper "away in Scotland separately" - shades of Swabes and Chris Carter here, in the week when the split was confirmed, Chris went on holiday to Morocco with a bird, and Swabes spent the week "off sick" - the reins of the Accies 6ths were left in the hands of Yoof, in the shape of Tom Barlow. Normally in such circumstances an experienced wise head or two is welcome, but not necessarily five, with the Turtle, Serge, Andy Colthorpe Senior being joined by the returning Dom Sumners and the bounce proof Adey Haysome, showing the signs of a battle with a 4x4 on his push bike (as ever, Adey tackled it wholeheartedly, but came off second best when the idiot driver indicated to turn left, and then turned....... left).

So to Shenley, and a scratch side faced up to Old Manorians team which seem to be produced by some sort of cloning experiment. Anyone under the age of 18 was welcome, or over the age of 45 (minimum seven feet) and what turned out to be a quite superb game of football. Fortunately the microlights weren't out today, otherwise the game might not have started.

Manorians opened the scoring with something better than Estonia had managed on the same fields the day before, as a corner was swung in and met by Larry Bird to power home from six yards, and skipper Barlow feared the worst. Instead, the Accies fought back, our glorious leader latching onto a ball and burying it from twenty yards. Accies took hold of the game, through the debutant Jedi pair Tom and Obi, and a slick passing move involving at least six players saw Obi calmly finish to give the Accies the lead. Surely the force was with us.

Sadly, stunned by a goal of such quality, the Accies were utterly clueless what to do, and Manorians drew level as a free kick was swung in, and under pressure from Michael Jordan, Tim Collins was adjudged to handle. Ignoring the fact that most of the Accies had appealed for a penalty, and two had called for Travelling, Collins protested, but referee Brennan was firm, and Wilt Chamberlain tucked away the spot kick for a 2-2 half time score.

The second half saw chances at both ends, but Manorians slowly took control, and for the first twenty minutes were only held at bay by a series of surprisingly good saves (to everyone) by the Turtle, but finally broke through as a header crept in at the corner. Moments after, Adey pulled up with a dodgy hamstring, no repetition of Finchleians and looking for gunman on the grassy knoll here, and the decision was made to stick him in goal, and the Turtle move to left back. Within five minutes, he was off the pitch, having been blindsided by a Young Manorian, begging the question whether Help The Aged should be involved. With Adey struggling to focus, finding it hard to string a coherent sentence together, we assumed he was OK, but once he started complaining of ringing in his ears we concluded he'd probably been concussed, and he was sent to the touchline.

Still the Accies fought, and skipper Barlow rattled the bar from thirty yards, but Manorians finally sealed it as a cross from the left wing was pulled back for LeBron James to fire home on the volley. With five minutes left, the Accies pulled it back to 4-3, Jean Alexandre Imerzoukene hitting a beautiful volley to add goal of the match to his longest name of the day trophy (Aurelio Garcia de Sola, eat your heart out) and in the final minute, Accies looked to have a chance as Obi broke free, only to be thwarted as Mick blew for final time, a gesture that denied the opportunity for thirty minutes of extra time that would almost certainly have proved futile, and possibly terminal for many.

An honourable mention should go to the Old Manorian Lakers for their spirit and attitude throughout a game, which was played in exemplary fashion, and sad to say, the right team won.

Saturday 6th October

Accies 1sts 2 (Gareth Jones, Dave Jenkin) Hale End Athletic 0 (Mark Dawson).

Old Thorntonians 3 Accies 2nds 0.

Wood Green Old Boys 3 Accies 3rds 3 (Paul Thomas, Chris Groves, Dan Bennett).

Accies 4ths 0 Old Aloysians 5.

Old Edmontonians 4 Accies 5ths 2 (Bob Woad, Sameer Patel).

Accies 6ths 0 Latymer Old Boys 2.

HAC Veterans 6 Accies Vets 4 (Danny Goldman, Simon Eaves, Pete Clothier, Paul Johnson).

1sts Match Report from the Non League Paper

In the AFC Premier Division UCL Academicals continued their good run of form with a 2-0 defeat of Hale End Athletic to take them to the top of the table. Chances in the first half were few and far between with the best falling to Accies’ Dave Jenkin who scuffed his shot wide. Hale End had half chances too, both from corners as forwards failed to make contact when any touch would’ve opened the scoring. The defining moment came during half time when Hale End were reduced to ten men when a player was sent off for abusive language to the referee. Accies dominated the second half with the extra man, especially down the right hand side, but were repeatedly denied by Chris Williams in the Hale End goal, until finally the deadlock was broken after 70 minutes when the ball fell to Gareth Jones who side footed home. With five minutes to go Accies sealed the win when Jenkin ran onto a through ball, and finished from ten yards out.

5ths Match Report from Jat Chohan

On a cloudy day in the magnificent Henry Barrass Stadium in Edmonton, the Accies 5ths stuttering start to the season continued against an Old Edmontonians side that seemed more suited to basketball than football such was their size. Even the two dwarves who had managed to infiltrate the Edmontonians side seemed strangely statuesque as they hopped about the field.

A stirring pre-match team talk by the gaffer (Dave Swaby) ensured the Accies were ready from the off, blood pumping and eyes bulging, and keen to avoid a repeat of the first match the previous week. The pitch even at this stage of the season wasn’t anything to write home about, dry and bobbly it wasn’t going to allow the free flowing passing that the 5th’s like to play. The Big Eds as they like to call themselves had their way of playing well rehearsed and made their intentions known with the first ball from midfield punted straight over the top of the Accies defence.

Debutant goalkeeper Ross Owens got a few early touches to settle himself down but it was not long before he was helplessly beaten. A sleeping accies defence let sprightly front man ‘Chico’ with a run in on goal from the left which he neatly tucked away. Swabes was livid and demanded more from his team, and from the kick they attacked the Ed’s goal. A good run down the left from man of the match, Joe Baggaley, resulted in a searching cross that Sameer Patel just failed to convert running in at full speed at the back post. The Accies confidence seemed to grow and when Dave Sigerson’s (Ziggy’s) hopeful clearance bounced a little higher than expected on the edge of the Eds’ box, Bob Woad turned on a sixpence to volley spectacularly home with his right peg over the keeper. A triple cartwheel and back flip were nowhere in sight as the veteran striker was helped back to the half way line, waving his walking stick and shouting, ‘You’ve all done very well.’

The Accies were seemingly in control at that point, but the man in black redressed the balance 10 minutes from half time. With the eagle-eyed vision characteristic of octogenarian referees standing on the half way line Ziggy was adjudged to have pulled at the shirt of the Ed’s 6ft 4in no. 5 in the area. The decision left even the attacker dumbfounded. The penalty was nearly saved with a superb low right hand dive by Ross, but the power of the strike was just too much for his hand to parry away.

The second half started with the Accies retaining more of the possession, but another unbelievable decision by the referee to give a clear Accies throw in to the Ed’s, led to a quick break down the left with a cross to the back post smartly headed in.

It was going to be one of those days it seemed, and the 5ths went for the jugular with men streaming forward, a good break down the right by James Laing, and a little interplay led to a fizzing ball across the six yard box from Bob Woad was smashed home at the back post by Sameer Patel. 

With only a goal in it again, the Accies attacked down the left with purpose, Joe B with another of his jinking runs got to the by-line and crossed for Simon Moss to hook the ball masterly from behind him, only for the keeper to pull off the save of his life with his right palm whilst his body was still going the other way.

With the heat on the Eds the 5ths pressed the self destruct button. An errant back pass wasn’t cleared fully and allowed a snap shot to wrong foot the debutant keeper and sneak in at his near post. Ross Owens pulled of another good save as the clock ran down as he tipped a strong drive over the bar from the left.

4-2 the final score to the home side, the 5th’s leaving the ground with visions of a certain man in black being severely reprimanded over the coming weeks.


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